Consent is sexy

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Consent is sexy. Any writer who says otherwise just hasn't done their research. In real life, it's no fun being kissed when you're not into it, and it certainly doesn't feel good kissing someone who doesn't want you. How can we call any steamy activity enjoyable at all if one (or both) parties isn't present and accounted for?

Seeking consent can be as fleeting as a look and a nod; as enticing as a whispered invitation and breathless answer; as point-blank as a written contract followed by the sound you make when your heart is pounding and you're ready to leap off the precipice.

It's a dance that may transpire quickly or play out over a song or three. It's a crucial and, at times, exciting part of flirting and foreplay. It doesn't get as "will they or won't they" as in that moment between posing the question and getting the answer.

Modern romances like Helen Huong's The Kiss Quotient, Sarah Smith's Faker, Stefanie Simpson's A Good Night's Sleep, and Skye McDonald's Nemesis show brilliant examples of consent, building the tension between two characters.

By the way, the Quick & Dirty Romance podcast has a great episode about this. Have a listen: Consent is Sexy.

Originally published in Dot Club #24 (December 2020)